{"product_id":"sasstooth-sarcastic-dachshund-wall-calendar","title":"Sasstooth – Sarcastic Dachshund Wall Calendar","description":"\u003ch2 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003eTwelve Months Of Sausage Dog Chaos\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome calendars just tell you the date.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis one has opinions.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0907\/6713\/0987\/files\/gif-dog_watching_calendar.gif?v=1790058841\" alt=\"\" style=\"display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFlip to January and the dachshund is already complaining about the weather.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFebruary? He's judging your breakfast.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEvery month pairs a new scene with a line straight from the dog's own mouth\u003c\/strong\u003e — dry, a little rude, and exactly what she'd say if she could talk.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHang it by the fridge and you'll catch yourself reading it out loud.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003eTwelve scenes, twelve remarks — no month repeats a joke\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e✓ Twelve Months, Zero Repeats\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNo repeats, no filler. Twelve original scenes, each paired with a caption that actually lands.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0907\/6713\/0987\/files\/cell-2_bb1a64ec-a186-418f-9b69-dc433a6a10fe.png?v=1790058841\" alt=\"\" style=\"display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e✓ \u003cstrong\u003eThe dog talks back\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eEvery line is written like the dachshund said it herself — sarcastic, dry, and a little too honest.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0907\/6713\/0987\/files\/cell-1_d19b336e-156a-4805-873e-1f830a2cdd5f.png?v=1790058841\" alt=\"\" style=\"display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e✓ \u003cstrong\u003eStill a real calendar\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eOpen-grid layout with room to jot down plans, so the humor never gets in the way of function.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0907\/6713\/0987\/files\/cell-4_b3fce61e-2b98-4d42-8284-ac7041bfdaee.png?v=1790058841\" alt=\"\" style=\"display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e✓ \u003cstrong\u003eLooks like it belongs there\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eStraight out of the envelope and onto the wall — no assembly, no extra parts.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0907\/6713\/0987\/files\/cell-5_2976fdf5-a6e8-45a5-b1ac-904dfee54255.png?v=1790058841\" alt=\"\" style=\"display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e✓ \u003cstrong\u003eBuilt for a full year on your wall\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eSturdy printed pages that hold up month after month without curling or fading.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0907\/6713\/0987\/files\/cell-3_99db4b60-05c0-4073-aff9-612a499a92c0.png?v=1790058841\" alt=\"\" style=\"display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat you get today\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSasstooth 12-month wall calendar\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eA new illustrated scene and sarcastic caption for every month\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eOpen-grid layout with room to note the week\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eReady to hang out of the envelope — no assembly\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFree tracked shipping\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e30-day money-back guarantee\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCalendars are printed once per year. When the run is gone, it's gone until next season.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBring Sasstooth to your wall today\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv style=\"background-color: #f7f7f7; padding: 16px 18px; margin-top: 16px; border-left: 3px solid #5A7F7B;\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e30-day at-home trial\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eTry Sasstooth at home for 30 days. If it doesn't look right on your wall or wear the way you expected, return it for a full refund.\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eFrequently asked questions\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs the humor actually funny, or is it corny?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eEach month pairs a scene with a caption written from the dog's point of view, so you can see the tone for yourself before it ever reaches your wall. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes it come pre-punched for hanging?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYes, it's ready to hang straight out of the envelope with no assembly needed. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs there space to write in appointments or notes?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYes, the open-grid layout leaves room to jot down plans for each day. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHow long does shipping take?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAll orders ship free with tracking so you can follow your calendar's progress to your door.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Clarendale","offers":[{"title":"Multicolor","offer_id":53894270681451,"sku":null,"price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0907\/6713\/0987\/files\/hero-1_c41cc26d-3fd7-4d7a-aab3-cf712261adb1.png?v=1790058891","url":"https:\/\/clarendale.co\/products\/sasstooth-sarcastic-dachshund-wall-calendar","provider":"Clarendale","version":"1.0","type":"link"}